Sue Scheff: Texting, Sexting and Teens

Love Our Children USA is an organization that educates you on protecting our children. I was privileged to be introduced to their Cyberbullying Spokesperson while on The Rachael Ray Show. This non-profit organization continually helps many families by not only reaching out to them, but keeping parents up to date on how to keep your children safe and keeping you informed of today’s adolescents and these new activities such as texting and sexting. Well, semi-new activities - to many of us, texting is still foreign, however these kids have their fingers going a mile a minute.

THE ISSUE:Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators, 1 out of 4kids are bullied and 42% of kids are cyberbullied.

THE SOLUTION: PREVENTION! Getting to the root of the cause through education and changing behaviorsand attitudes. Loving and nurturing children. Stopping Violence BEFORE itstarts — creating happy and healthy children … Keeping Children Safe

CELL PHONE AND TEXT MESSAGING SAFTEY

Source: LoveOurChildrenUSA

Are You a Potential Victim of Cell Phone Danger?

Who is text messaging you? If your friends, family and parents are the only ones sending you text messages — than that’s cool! They should be the only people who are texting you!
To be safe, you should not give anyone but your close friends and family your cell number. Do not give out personal identifiable information, such as real full name, addresses, phone numbers, photos, descriptive information from which this information could easily be found (like a picture of you in front of a recognizable place, or a photo referring to your sports team by name or by wearing something with identifying information in a photo.)

If you text message people other than your family and close friends, you could be texting people who can cause you harm.

And, it’s not uncommon for bullies to use cell phones to harass other kids and, tragically, it’s not unheard of for kids to be contacted on their cell phone by adult predators.
You wouldn’t text a stranger and give them all of your information and let them know what school you go to — would you?

By using common sense and maintaining your privacy when using your cell phone and text messaging you stay safe from online predators and cyber bullies.

What To Do If Strangers Or Bullies Text You?

REPORT IT immediately! To your parents, a trusted teacher and the police!
No one has the right to bully you! And no stranger has the right to text you!
For more information click to read:

Bullying

Bullying At School Bullying …

Through The Eyes Of A Victim Bullying: What Have I Ever Done To You Stop Bullying CyberbullyingOnline Safety For Kids and TeensCell Phone and Text Messaging Safety

Miss Teen New Jersey International 2007 Stand Against Bullies

Sue Scheff: Tattoo's and Teens

Source: TeensHealth

It seems like everyone has a tattoo these days. What used to be the property of sailors, outlaws, and biker gangs is now a popular body decoration for many people. And it's not just anchors, skulls, and battleships anymore — from school emblems to Celtic designs to personalized symbols, people have found many ways to express themselves with their tattoos. Maybe you've thought about getting one. But before you head down to the nearest tattoo shop and roll up your sleeve, there are a few things you need to know.

WHAT IS A TATTOO?

A tattoo is a puncture wound, made deep in your skin, that's filled with ink. It's made by penetrating your skin with a needle and injecting ink into the area, usually creating some sort of design. What makes tattoos so long-lasting is they're so deep — the ink isn't injected into the epidermis (the top layer of skin that you continue to produce and shed throughout your lifetime). Instead, the ink is injected into the dermis, which is the second, deeper layer of skin. Dermis cells are very stable, so the tattoo is practically permanent.

Tattoos used to be done manually — that is, the tattoo artist would puncture the skin with a needle and inject the ink by hand. Though this process is still used in some parts of the world, most tattoo shops use a tattoo machine these days. A tattoo machine is a handheld electric instrument that uses a tube and needle system. On one end is a sterilized needle, which is attached to tubes that contain ink. A foot switch is used to turn on the machine, which moves the needle in and out while driving the ink about 1/8 inch (about 3 millimeters) into your skin.Most tattoo artists know how deep to drive the needle into your skin, but not going deep enough will produce a ragged tattoo, and going too deep can cause bleeding and intense pain. Getting a tattoo can take several hours, depending on the size and design chosen.

Read entire article: http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_body/body_art/safe_tattooing.html

Sue Scheff: Which Battles Should You Pick with your Kids?

Doesn’t this sound familiar? I always remember when my kids were teens my friend would say to me, you have to pick and choose your battles - some issues are just not worth the battle. Years later, Connect with Kids offers some great parenting tips on doing exactly that!

Source: Connect with Kids

“I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

– Sara Jackson, 16 years old

Teenagers are freedom seekers, risk-takers and rule breakers. Pushing limits is just what teenagers do. “I love the rush. I love the freedom,” says 17-year-old Alan Oliver.

Sixteen-year-old Sara Jackson agrees that breaking rules and taking chances is a rush. “It’s something I take great pride in. I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

When kids become teens, they start breaking away, trying new things and taking chances. For Sara, that means wearing funky clothes and crazy hairdos. People, especially adults, notice Sara’s wild style.

“They come up to me and say you’re looking kind of crazy today. What’s going on with the whole style thing?” she says.

But some kids find other, more dangerous ways to show their independence. They take risks. Dan O’brien got involved in drugs and alcohol. “I mean, every time I drank, I drank to get drunk,” he says.

Ed Drury, age 17, gets his rush from speeding. Standing around with friends at his favorite Friday night hangout, Ed admits why he likes to come here. “There’s always a lot of racing, a lot of speeding.”

Experts confirm what most of us already know. Teenagers oftentimes don’t think about the consequences of their actions. Says Dr. Nancy Macgarrah: “It’s this whole sense of invulnerability tied with the lack of maturity. “

Since we know teenagers are going to take chances, experts say it’s wise to be strict on the issues that reallymatter.

“You know, it’s not so much … is your hair orange or purple or do you have two earrings or three earrings. I mean, those aren’t life-ending decisions, but whether you wear seatbelts or not, whether you drink and drive or not, you know whether you drive 20 miles over the speed limit. And those all can be life-ending decisions,” Dr. Macgarrah says.

For kids like Sara, dressing funky, doing wild things with their hair and just being a little different all satisfy the need for independence.

“When I spike my hair, it makes me feel good about myself. I like it. It’s something different. It lets people know what kind of person I am,” Sara says.


Tips for Parents
The most difficult challenges many parents face, according to the American Psychological Association, come during their children’s teenage years. Teenagers, dealing with a complex world and hormonal changes, may feel that no one can understand their feelings, least of all their parents. Teens and parents alike may be left feeling angry, frustrated and confused. The APA says methods of discipline that worked well in earlier years no longer seem to be effective. As a result, the teen years are “ripe” for producing conflict in the family. Typical areas of conflict may include:

Disputes over curfew
Choice of friends
Spending time with family instead of friends
School and work performance
Cars and driving privileges
Dating and sexuality
Clothing, hair styles and makeup
Self-destructive behaviors, such as smoking, drinking and using drugs
The teen years are tough, but most families seem to be successful at helping their children accomplish their developmental goals: reducing dependence on parents while becoming increasingly responsible and independent. However, the APA does list some warning signs that things are not going well and that the family may want to seek outside help:

Aggressive behavior or violence by the teen
Drug or alcohol abuse
Promiscuity
School truancy
Brushes with the law or runaway behavior
Parents resorting to hitting or other violence in an attempt to maintain discipline
There are different styles and approaches to parenting. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, research shows that effective parents raise well-adjusted children who are more self-reliant, self-controlled and positively curious than children raised by parents who are punitive, overly strict (authoritarian) or permissive. Effective parents demonstrate the following behaviors:

Believe that both the child and the parents have certain rights and that the needs of both are important
Rule out the use physical force to discipline the child
Set clear rules and explain why these rules are important
Reason with the child and consider the child’s point of view even though they may not agree with it
Tips for effective discipline:

Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.
Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.
Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or other disrespectful behavior.
Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.
Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.
Allow for negotiation and flexibility, which can help build your child’s social skills.
Let your child experience the consequences of his or her behavior.
Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.
Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Psychological Association
Temple University

Sue Scheff: Kidfluence

Check out this fantastic and informational website offering webcasts, TV Show, articles and more about today’s teens and all kids. Up to date content on what your kids are doing online and how to understand it all! Yes - all confusing and all ever changing.

Source: Kidfluence

Kidfluence is a brand created to strengthen youth development and education. Through its many programs such as Kidfluence TV, Teen Talk and Teen Screen, Kidfluence aims to be a leading advocate on teen issues.

http://www.kidfluence.tv/

The heart of the brand is an exciting new television show, Kidfluence TV, that discusses issues, events, and conflicts that affect our youth today.

A diverse group of opinionated personalities ranging from parents, coaches, teachers, professionals, advocates, and of course, tweens and teenagers will contribute to very candid discussions. With so many issues affecting our youth today, everyone has a point of view on what should be done, how matters should be handled.

Kidfluence is a television program that allows everyone to be an influential and a loyal supporter of tackling youth issues head on.

Sue Scheff - Parenting Teens - Parenting Tips

Sue Scheff – Founder of Parents’ Universal Resource Experts and Author of Wit’s End! Advice and Resources for Saving Your Out-Of-Control Teen
Offers 10 Parenting Quick Tips


1. Communication: Keeping the lines of communication of your child should be a priority with all parents. It is important to let your kids know you are always there for them no matter what the subject is. If there is a subject you are not comfortable with, please be sure your child has someone they can open up to. I believe that when kids keep things bottled up, it can be when negative behaviors can start to grow.

2. Knowing your Children’s Friends: This is critical, in my opinion. Who are your kids hanging out with? Doing their homework with? If they are spending a lot of time at a friends house, go out of your way to call the parent introduce yourself. Especially if they are spending the night at a friends house, it important to take time to call the parents or meet them. This can give you a feeling of security knowing where your child is and who they are with.


3. Know your Child’s Teachers – Keep track of their attendance at school: Take time to meet each teacher and be sure they have your contact information and you have theirs if there are any concerns regarding your child. In the same respect, take time to meet your child’s Guidance Counselor.

4. Keep your Child Involved: Whether it is sports, music, drama, dance, and school clubs such as chess, government, school newspaper or different committees such as prom, dances and other school activities. Keeping your child busy can keep them out of trouble. If you can find your child’s passion – whether it is football, soccer, gymnastics, dance, music – that can help keep them focused and hopefully keep them on track in school.


5. Learn about Internet Social Networking: In today’s Cyber generation this has to be a priority. Parents need to help educate their kids on Cyber Safety – think before they post, help them to understand what they put up today, may haunt them tomorrow. Don’t get involved with strangers and especially don’t talk about sex with strangers. Avoid meeting in person the people you meet online without you being there. On the same note – cell phone and texting – don’t allow your child to freely give out their cell numbers and never post them online. Parents should consider ReputationDefender/MyChild to further help protect their children online.

6. Encourage your teen to get a job or volunteer: In today’s generation I think we need to instill responsibility and accountability. This can start early by encouraging your teen to either get a job or volunteer, especially during the summer. Again, it is about keeping them busy, however at the same time teaching them responsibility. I always tell parents to try to encourage their teens to get jobs at Summer Camps, Nursing Homes, ASPCA, Humane Society or places where they are giving to others or helping animals. It can truly build self esteem to help others.


7. Make Time for your Child: This sounds very simple and almost obvious, but with today’s busy schedule of usually both parents working full time or single parent households, it is important to put time aside weekly (if not daily at dinner) for one on one time or family time. Today life is all about electronics (cell phones, Ipods, Blackberry’s, computers, etc) that the personal touch of actually being together has diminished.

8. When Safety trumps privacy: If you suspect your teen is using drugs, or other suspicious behaviors (lying, defiance, disrespectful, etc) it is time to start asking questions – and even “snooping” – I know there are two sides to this coin, and that is why I specifically mentioned “if you suspect” things are not right – in these cases – safety for your child takes precedence over invading their privacy. Remember – we are the parent and we are accountable and responsible for our child.


9. Are you considering outside treatment for your child? Residential Therapy is a huge step, and not a step that is taken lightly. Do your homework! When your child’s behavior escalates to a level of belligerence, defiance, substance abuse or God forbid gang relations – it may be time to seek outside help. Don’t be ashamed of this – put your child’s future first and take steps to get the help he/she needs – immediately, but take your time to find the right placement. Read Wit’s End! for more information.

10. Be a parent FIRST: There are parents that want to be their child’s friend and that is great – but remember you are a parent first. Set boundaries – believe it not kids want limits (and most importantly – need them). Never threaten consequences you don’t plan on following through with.

Sue Scheff: Counseling can cut back on Youth Drinking

Source: Connect with Kids

“If it comes from me, I’m the objective observer. I’m interested in the child, and I try to let them know that. I want what’s best for them, but yet it’s not Mom or Dad saying that.”

– Rhonda Jeffries, M.D., Pediatrician

It’s a troubling fact of life: some kids drink.

“Especially the older they get,” says Dr. Rhonda Jeffries, a pediatrician. “And by senior year, 50 percent or more of kids are drinking. And in fact, by 12th grade, usually 80 percent of the kids have tried alcohol.”

But can a doctor persuade kids not to drink? Kids seem to think so.

“I think coming from somebody besides, maybe, just the parents for some people it will help,” says 18-year-old Andrew Scott, a high school senior.

Lars Thrasher, 17, agrees. “I would think it would be more helpful from a doctor,” he says.

And Christine Terrell, calls doctors advice on drinking and other potentially touchy subjects “extremely beneficial.”

According to a study published in the Annals of Family Medicine, when a physician spends just a few minutes talking to kids about the dangers of alcohol, those kids are 50 percent less likely to drink.

Dr. Jeffries says: “If it comes from me, I’m the objective observer. I’m interested in the child, and I try to let them know that. I want what’s best for them, but yet it’s not Mom or Dad saying that.”

The study reports when kids talked with their doctor, they had 55 percent fewer traffic accidents, 42 percent less emergency room visits and fewer arrests for underage drinking. It seems that when doctors warn kids about alcohol, they listen.

Christine Terrell explains: “They’re not invested in you as their child. They’re invested in you for your health, for your interests, for your sake. And I would definitely listen to a doctor, and I have listened to doctors who have talked to me about subjects like that.”

The study suggests it’s a good idea to ask your doctor to talk with your children about alcohol. Of course, experts add, parents should bring up the subject as well. “They need to be open to discussion and to bringing these issues up with their kids,” says Dr. Jeffries. “And I think that parents who are in touch with their kids and connected to them are really helpful in getting their children though adolescence without negative effects.”

LaShauna Pellman, 17, sums it up best. “If my parents tell me something,” she says, “then I listen to them even more.”

Tips for Parents

Alcohol-related fatalities are a leading cause of death among young adults in the United States. In the United States, 70.8 percent of all deaths among persons aged 10 to 24 result from only four causes – motor-vehicle crashes, other unintentional injuries, homicide and suicide.

Should your family doctor take just a few moments to counsel your child about the risks of alcohol, there is great potential for positive outcome. Just a few minutes of a doctor's counseling helped young adults reduce their high-risk drinking and the number of traffic crashes, emergency room visits, and arrests for substance or liquor violations, says a study in the Annals of Family Medicine. Consider the following:

Underage drinking causes over $53 billion in criminal, social and health problems.
Alcohol is a leading factor in the three leading causes of death for 15- to 24-year-olds: automobile crashes, homicide and suicide.

Primary-care doctors should make it a priority to counsel young adults about high-risk drinking. Young adults, ages 18 to 30, who received counseling about reducing their use of alcohol:

Experienced a 40 to 50 percent decrease in alcohol use.
Reported 42 percent fewer visits to the emergency room.
Were involved in 55 percent fewer motor vehicle crashes.

The ways a parent can influence his or her teen’s drinking habits is complex. A universal method regarding what works best in preventing underage drinking may not exist. A study published in the Journal of Adolescent Health found that a parent’s attitude toward drinking influences a child's behavior in various ways. One controversial finding was that teens who drank with their parents were less likely than others to have binged or used alcohol at all in recent weeks. Others, of course, argue passionately that parents who drink with their underage children are not only breaking the law but encouraging dangerous behavior that can lead to life-long consequences.

The Journal study also found that strict parenting can curb kids' drinking. Teens who said they feared they would have their privileges taken away if they got caught drinking were half as likely to drink as those who thought their parents would not punish them. In addition, consider the following:

The average girl takes her first sip of alcohol at age 13. The average boy takes his first sip of alcohol at age 11.

Teenagers who said their parents or their friends' parents had provided alcohol for a party during the past year were twice as likely as their peers to have used alcohol or binged during the previous month.

Nearly 75 percent of teens surveyed said they had never used alcohol.
About 25 percent of teens in the study said they'd been at party in the past year where parents supplied alcohol.

Fourteen percent of teens surveyed said they were with their parents the last time they drank.

References
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)
Focus Adolescent Services
Health Day
National Youth Violence Prevention Center
Reuters
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
University of California, Irvine

Sue Scheff: Mistreated Depression

Source: Connect with Kids

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy. They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

– David Gore, Ph.D., clinical psychologist

Fifteen-year-old Sarah McMenamin suffers from depression. It started a year ago with the death of her father.

“I was just like, ‘I just want to die,’” she says, describing her feeling before seeing a therapist. “I would never kill myself, but I just wish I was dead, I just wish I was never going to wake up.”

For depressed teens, experts at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry say what can help is medicine – combined with talk therapy.

“I think the therapist helped me,” explains Sarah, “’cause it was talking, you know, I got it out. I didn’t bottle everything up.”

“The advantage to getting some therapy along with medication is that you get to the root of the problem,” explains Dr. David Gore, clinical psychologist. “You get to see why you’re feeling that way. And if you start understanding why you’re feeling that way, chances are pretty good you’ll stop feeling that way.”

But according to a new study from Thomson-Reuters, more teens than ever are getting medication without psychotherapy. Why? Gore has an answer.

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy,” Dr. Gore says. “They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

Three months ago, Sarah started seeing a new doctor.

“Right away he put me on Zoloft,” she says. “He didn’t even know me for an hour and he put me on it.”

But psychologists say medicine alone just won’t work as well.

“You take your pill, you’ll get some immediate relief,” explains Dr. Gore, “but the problem’s going to crop up again in two months or four months or six months. You’ve got to get to the root of the problem.”

Sarah will resume talk therapy again in a few months. She says she is looking forward to it.

“You get it out on the table and you know your feelings’” she says, “and you go in thinking it’s one thing and you come out finding out it’s like 10 different things and you’re like, ‘Wow.’”

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.

Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.

Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

If you suspect that your teen is clinically depressed, it is important to evaluate his or her symptoms and signs as soon as possible. The National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association cites the following warning signs indicating that your teen may suffer from depression:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or, unfortunately, indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While your teen does not act “depressed,” his or her behavior suggests that he or she is not concerned about his or her own safety.

Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.

Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic, jumping from heights and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and disinterest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.

Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Parents Universal Resource Experts- Sue Scheff - Teen Runaways - Parent Help

If you are currently dealing with a runaway, act immediately. Do not waste any time in utilizing every resource you can to find your child.

The list below details a plan of action and tips for finding help.

Tips For Finding a Runaway

Keep an updated phone list with the home and cell numbers of your teen’s friends. Using the phone list, call every one of your teen’s friends. Talk immediately with their parents, not their friends, as teenagers will often stick together and lie for each other. The parent will tell you anything they know, including the last time contact was made between their child and yours. They will also know to keep closer tabs on their own child.

Keep an updated photo of your child on hands at all times. With this photo, create one-page flyers including all information about your teen and where they were last seen. Post these flyers everywhere your teen hangs out, as well as anywhere else teenagers in general hang out. Post anywhere they will allow you to.

Immediately contact your local police. It is advised that you actually visit the office with a copy of the flyer as well as a good number of color photos of your teen. Speak clearly and act rationally, but make sure that they understand how serious the situation is.

Contact the local paper in order to run a missing ad. Also, contact any other printed media available in your area; many will be very willing to help.

Contact your local television stations, as well as those in nearby counties. Most stations will be more than happy to run an alert either in the newscast or through the scrolling alert at the bottom of the screen.

Having a teen runaway is very frightening and it can bring you to your “Wits End”. Remain positive and be creative: try to understand why your teen is acting this way, what they are running from and where they might be running. These are times when parents need to seek help for themselves. Don’t be ashamed to reach out to others. We are all about parents helping parents. Please visit Sue Scheff™’s Parents Universal Resource Experts™ to find support and professional help with your runaway situation.

Right Direction can also help at www.rdas.net

Sue Scheff: Teen Truancy

Truancy is a term used to describe any intentional unauthorized absence from compulsory schooling. Children in America today lose over five million days of their education each year through truancy. Often times they do this without the knowledge of their parents or school officials. In common usage the term typically refers to absences caused by students of their own free will, and usually does not refer to legitimate "excused" absences, such as ones related to a medical condition. It may also refer to students who attend school but do not go to classes. Because of this confusion many schools have their own definitions, and as such the exact meaning of the term itself will differ from school to school and district to district. In order to avoid or diminish confusion, many schools explicitly define the term and their particular usage thereof in the school's handbook of policies and procedures. In many instances truancy is the term referring to an absence associated with the most brazen student irresponsibility and results in the greatest consequences.

Many educators view truancy as something much more far reaching than the immediate consequence that missed schooling has on a student's education. Truancy may indicate more deeply embedded problems with the student, the education they are receiving, or both. Because of its traditional association with juvenile delinquency, truancy in some schools may result in an ineligibility to graduate or to receive credit for class attended, until the time lost to truancy is made up through a combination of detention, fines, or summer school. This can be especially troubling for a child, as failing school can lead to social impairment if the child is held back, economic impact if the child drops out or cannot continue his or her education, and emotional impact as the cycle of failure diminishes the adolescent's self-esteem.