Sue Scheff: Teens and Gambling Addiction

“I think if someone had asked me if I had wanted to go out with a beautiful girl or sit at home and play poker, I probably would have said I'd play poker.”

– Daniel Gushue, 22 years old

Recent studies show that a growing number of young people are compulsive gamblers, particularly obsessed with gambling on the Internet. And now, Canadian researchers say that you may be able to discover who will become an addict one day by studying the behavior of kindergartners. How can you prevent your teen from getting hooked?

Daniel was a compulsive gambler.

Over the course of two years he racked up 18 thousand dollars of credit card debt.

“So on a typical night, my gambling at its worst, say here Oct. 25th,” Daniel says looking at his bank statement, “I deposited $50, I deposited another 50, another 50, a 100, another 100, 50, and then 200. So all-in-all that’s 6- $600.”

But was he an impulsive child years ago?

Researchers at the University of Montreal say there is a direct correlation: the more impulsive kids are, the more likely they will become gambling addicts.

And, experts say, because of the Internet, addiction is a greater problem today than ever.

“So whereas 15-20 years ago you have to get into a car, drive to a casino, might take you an hour or two hours or three hours to get there, now you can just pick up your cell phone and be gambling while you are waiting in the doctor’s office, or while you’re waiting at the bus stop,” explains Dr. Timothy Fong, Addiction Psychiatrist.

That’s why, experts say, parents need to be proactive.

According to psychologist Dr. Larry Rosen that means, “Familiarize yourself with what potential problems your kids might come up against, and sit them down and talk to them.”

Daniel doesn’t play online poker anymore, but he does gamble on sports.

That makes his girlfriend, Carlee Schaper, nervous. “When it comes to watching him online, sports betting and things like that, I don’t like to see him doing that, because I feel like it’s a slippery slope, and, um, it’s possible for him to go back to his old ways.”

“Should I be gambling?” says Daniel, “Probably not. But for the time being I’m in a good place.”

Tips for Parents
Three-quarters of a million teens have a serious gambling problem, according to research from the University of Buffalo. That includes stealing money to gamble, gambling more money then initially planned, or selling possessions to gamble more. Another 11 percent of teens admit to gambling at least twice a week. Evidence shows that individuals who begin gambling at an early age run a much higher lifetime risk of developing a gambling problem.

Some individuals and organizations support teaching poker to adolescents as a real-life means of instructing on critical reasoning, mathematics and probability. They say teaching the probability of winning is the most important aspect of the game and that the mathematics behind the reasoning that will show kids they won’t win in the long run.

The legal gambling age in the United States is 21. Poker sites enable minors to play by clicking a box to verify that they are the legal age and entering a credit card number. Age is verified further only if suspicions are raised.

Some researchers call gambling the fastest-growing teenage addiction. Teens are especially vulnerable to gambling because of the excitement, the risk and their belief that skill is involved. The Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling and the Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling lists the following warning signs that a teen may be struggling with a gambling problem:

■Unexplained need for money: Valuables missing from the home and frequently borrowing money
■Withdrawal from the family: Changes in personality, impatience, criticism, sarcasm, increased hostility, irritability, making late-night calls, fewer outside activities, a drop in grades and unaccountable time away from home
■Interest in sports teams with no prior allegiance: Watching televised sports excessively, exhibiting an unusual interest in sports reports, viewing multiple games at one time, running up charges to 900 sports phone numbers and showing hostility over the outcome of a game
■Gambling paraphernalia: Betting slips, IOUs, lottery tickets, frequent card and dice games at home and the overuse of gambling language, such as “bet,” in conversation
■Coming to parents to pay gambling debts
■Using lunch or bus money to gamble
Ask yourself the following questions if you suspect your child has a gambling addiction:

■Is your child out of the house or confined to a room with a computer for long, unexplained periods of time?
■Does your child miss work, school or extra-curricular activities?
■Can your child be trusted with money?
■Does your child borrow money to gamble with or to pay gambling debts?
■Does your child hide his or her money?
■Have you noticed a personality change in your child?
■Does your child consistently lie to cover up or deny his or her gambling activities?

Compulsive gambling is an illness, progressive in nature. There is no cure, but with help the addiction can be suppressed. Many who gamble live in a dream world to satisfy emotional needs. The gambler dreams of a life filled with friends, new cars, furs, penthouses, yachts, etc. However, a gambler usually will return to win more, so no amount of winning is sufficient to reach these dreams.

The compulsion to gamble can easily lead to self-destructive behavior, especially for teens. If you are concerned that a young person you care about has a gambling problem, encourage him or her to contact a gambling help line in your area or to seek professional help at a gambling treatment facility.

References
■American Family Association
■Arizona Council on Compulsive Gambling
■Connecticut Council on Problem Gambling
■National Gambling Impact Study Commission
■Student Affairs Administrators in Higher Education
■University of Buffalo's Research Institute on Addictions

Sue Scheff: Middle School Sex

Source: Connect with Kids

“I wanted to be in the 'in' crowd and my friends. And I wanted to be able to say 'yes, I've had sex before,'”

– Katelyn, Age 13

Katelyn is now 16, but when she was only 13, “I started skipping school,” she says. “Having sex.”

“I wanted to be in the ‘in’ crowd and my friends,” Katelyn explains, “and I wanted to be able to say ‘yes, I’ve had sex before’.”

According to a new study by the University of Texas, 12 percent of 7th graders have had sex. Nearly 8 percent have had oral sex. What’s more, nearly a third aren’t using protection.

Experts say one problem is instead of getting information about sex from their parents and other adults, kids are getting it from other kids.

“And a lot of the information that they are getting from each other is poor information, its misinformation, and it’s not good,” says sex educator, Sheena Pope-Holland.

And in a time when sexual messages are everywhere, parents need to have lots of conversations about sex and they need to begin when the kids are young.

“What they can expect to face in terms of pressures from their friends,” explains teen counselor Marie Mitchell, “In terms of what these new feelings will mean in their lives, what the consequences of acting on those feelings might be.”

She says parents also need to be pro-active: Get to know your child's friends. Know what they’re doing and where they're going and when they’re supposed to return.

And make sure your rules are age appropriate.

“You don't allow a 13-year-older to go out on a date by herself, because she's not mature enough to handle those situations,” says Mitchell.

Katelyn has been abstinent for over a year. What convinced her were conversations with teenage mothers.

“That was I think the biggest slap in the face to me…for somebody outside of my family to tell me ‘you’re dumb, you’re stupid, look where I am, I have nothing, I have absolutely nothing…do you want to be like this when you’re my age?’”

Tips for Parents
The American Academy of Pediatrics has suggested that portrayals of sex on entertainment television may contribute to precocious adolescent sex. Approximately two-thirds of television programs contain sexual content, and adolescents who viewed more sexual content were more likely to initiate intercourse and progress to more advanced non-coital sexual activities. Youths in the top 10th percentile of television sex viewing were twice as likely to have sex as those youths who were in the bottom 10th percentile of viewing.

Adolescence is a key period of sexual exploration and development. This is the time when teens begin to consider which sexual behaviors are enjoyable, moral and appropriate for their age group. Many teens become sexually active during this period; currently, 46 percent of high school students in the United States admit to having had sexual intercourse. Consider the following:

By ninth grade, 34 percent of teens have had sexual intercourse. By 12th grade, this figure increases to 60 percent.
On average, teens watch three hours of television every day.
Watching a program that talked about sex was associated with the same risks as exposure to a program that depicted sexual behavior.
Approximately one in seven television programs includes a portrayal of sexual intercourse.
Television programs with sexual content have an average of 4.4 scenes per hour containing sexually related material.
Youths who watched more depictions of sexual risks or safety were less likely to initiate intercourse.
Watching sex on television predicts and may hasten adolescent sexual initiation. Reducing the amount of sexual content in entertainment programming, reducing adolescent exposure to this content, or increasing references to and depictions of the possible negative consequences of sexual activity could delay when teens embark on sexual activities. A quarter of all sexually active teens will contract a sexually transmitted disease each year. According to 57 percent of adults and 72 percent of teens, the media has given "more attention" to teen pregnancy prevention in recent years.

Remember that as a parent you may be able to reduce the effects of sexual content in the media by watching television with your teenagers and discussing your own beliefs about sex and the behaviors being portrayed. Most parents say they have discussed sex with their teenagers, but far fewer teenagers say they had such talks with their parents. Sixty-nine percent of teens report that it would be "much easier" to postpone sexual activity if they could have "more open, honest conversations" about sex with their parents. In addition:

About 60 percent of teens have a television in their bedroom. The only way to keep parental control of television viewing is to not let your teen have a television in the bedroom.
Unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases are more common among those who begin sexual activity earlier.
Two-thirds of sexually experienced teens wish they had waited longer to have intercourse.
Seventy-nine percent of teenage virgins are not embarrassed to tell others they have not had sex.
Youngsters who receive little parental supervision may have more time and freedom to watch sexually based programming and more opportunities to engage in sexual activity.
References
The Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation
Medical News Today
Pediatrics
Rand Corporation
Talk With Your Kids
USA Today

Sue Scheff: Texting, Sexting and Teens

Love Our Children USA is an organization that educates you on protecting our children. I was privileged to be introduced to their Cyberbullying Spokesperson while on The Rachael Ray Show. This non-profit organization continually helps many families by not only reaching out to them, but keeping parents up to date on how to keep your children safe and keeping you informed of today’s adolescents and these new activities such as texting and sexting. Well, semi-new activities - to many of us, texting is still foreign, however these kids have their fingers going a mile a minute.

THE ISSUE:Every year over 3 million children are victims of violence and almost 1.8million are abducted. Nearly 600,000 children live in foster care. Every day1 out of 7 kids and teens are approached online by predators, 1 out of 4kids are bullied and 42% of kids are cyberbullied.

THE SOLUTION: PREVENTION! Getting to the root of the cause through education and changing behaviorsand attitudes. Loving and nurturing children. Stopping Violence BEFORE itstarts — creating happy and healthy children … Keeping Children Safe

CELL PHONE AND TEXT MESSAGING SAFTEY

Source: LoveOurChildrenUSA

Are You a Potential Victim of Cell Phone Danger?

Who is text messaging you? If your friends, family and parents are the only ones sending you text messages — than that’s cool! They should be the only people who are texting you!
To be safe, you should not give anyone but your close friends and family your cell number. Do not give out personal identifiable information, such as real full name, addresses, phone numbers, photos, descriptive information from which this information could easily be found (like a picture of you in front of a recognizable place, or a photo referring to your sports team by name or by wearing something with identifying information in a photo.)

If you text message people other than your family and close friends, you could be texting people who can cause you harm.

And, it’s not uncommon for bullies to use cell phones to harass other kids and, tragically, it’s not unheard of for kids to be contacted on their cell phone by adult predators.
You wouldn’t text a stranger and give them all of your information and let them know what school you go to — would you?

By using common sense and maintaining your privacy when using your cell phone and text messaging you stay safe from online predators and cyber bullies.

What To Do If Strangers Or Bullies Text You?

REPORT IT immediately! To your parents, a trusted teacher and the police!
No one has the right to bully you! And no stranger has the right to text you!
For more information click to read:

Bullying

Bullying At School Bullying …

Through The Eyes Of A Victim Bullying: What Have I Ever Done To You Stop Bullying CyberbullyingOnline Safety For Kids and TeensCell Phone and Text Messaging Safety

Miss Teen New Jersey International 2007 Stand Against Bullies

Sue Scheff: Which Battles Should You Pick with your Kids?

Doesn’t this sound familiar? I always remember when my kids were teens my friend would say to me, you have to pick and choose your battles - some issues are just not worth the battle. Years later, Connect with Kids offers some great parenting tips on doing exactly that!

Source: Connect with Kids

“I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

– Sara Jackson, 16 years old

Teenagers are freedom seekers, risk-takers and rule breakers. Pushing limits is just what teenagers do. “I love the rush. I love the freedom,” says 17-year-old Alan Oliver.

Sixteen-year-old Sara Jackson agrees that breaking rules and taking chances is a rush. “It’s something I take great pride in. I love shocking [people], because I’m something somebody will remember.”

When kids become teens, they start breaking away, trying new things and taking chances. For Sara, that means wearing funky clothes and crazy hairdos. People, especially adults, notice Sara’s wild style.

“They come up to me and say you’re looking kind of crazy today. What’s going on with the whole style thing?” she says.

But some kids find other, more dangerous ways to show their independence. They take risks. Dan O’brien got involved in drugs and alcohol. “I mean, every time I drank, I drank to get drunk,” he says.

Ed Drury, age 17, gets his rush from speeding. Standing around with friends at his favorite Friday night hangout, Ed admits why he likes to come here. “There’s always a lot of racing, a lot of speeding.”

Experts confirm what most of us already know. Teenagers oftentimes don’t think about the consequences of their actions. Says Dr. Nancy Macgarrah: “It’s this whole sense of invulnerability tied with the lack of maturity. “

Since we know teenagers are going to take chances, experts say it’s wise to be strict on the issues that reallymatter.

“You know, it’s not so much … is your hair orange or purple or do you have two earrings or three earrings. I mean, those aren’t life-ending decisions, but whether you wear seatbelts or not, whether you drink and drive or not, you know whether you drive 20 miles over the speed limit. And those all can be life-ending decisions,” Dr. Macgarrah says.

For kids like Sara, dressing funky, doing wild things with their hair and just being a little different all satisfy the need for independence.

“When I spike my hair, it makes me feel good about myself. I like it. It’s something different. It lets people know what kind of person I am,” Sara says.


Tips for Parents
The most difficult challenges many parents face, according to the American Psychological Association, come during their children’s teenage years. Teenagers, dealing with a complex world and hormonal changes, may feel that no one can understand their feelings, least of all their parents. Teens and parents alike may be left feeling angry, frustrated and confused. The APA says methods of discipline that worked well in earlier years no longer seem to be effective. As a result, the teen years are “ripe” for producing conflict in the family. Typical areas of conflict may include:

Disputes over curfew
Choice of friends
Spending time with family instead of friends
School and work performance
Cars and driving privileges
Dating and sexuality
Clothing, hair styles and makeup
Self-destructive behaviors, such as smoking, drinking and using drugs
The teen years are tough, but most families seem to be successful at helping their children accomplish their developmental goals: reducing dependence on parents while becoming increasingly responsible and independent. However, the APA does list some warning signs that things are not going well and that the family may want to seek outside help:

Aggressive behavior or violence by the teen
Drug or alcohol abuse
Promiscuity
School truancy
Brushes with the law or runaway behavior
Parents resorting to hitting or other violence in an attempt to maintain discipline
There are different styles and approaches to parenting. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, research shows that effective parents raise well-adjusted children who are more self-reliant, self-controlled and positively curious than children raised by parents who are punitive, overly strict (authoritarian) or permissive. Effective parents demonstrate the following behaviors:

Believe that both the child and the parents have certain rights and that the needs of both are important
Rule out the use physical force to discipline the child
Set clear rules and explain why these rules are important
Reason with the child and consider the child’s point of view even though they may not agree with it
Tips for effective discipline:

Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.
Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.
Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or other disrespectful behavior.
Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.
Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.
Allow for negotiation and flexibility, which can help build your child’s social skills.
Let your child experience the consequences of his or her behavior.
Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.
Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Psychological Association
Temple University

Sue Scheff: ADHD and Drug Abuse

Source: Connect with Kids

“In a way that athletes have used steroids and other medications in the past to enhance their athletic performance, Adderall is actually being used to kind of pseudo-enhance their academic performance.”

– Heather Hayes, M.Ed., Counselor.

Nineteen-year-old Marisa McCorkle has been using Adderall for two years.

“I use it for various reasons,” she says, “like tests, it helps me on tests. [And it] helps me stay awake, and [with] studying.”

It sounds like a wonder drug. Adderall – an amphetamine commonly used to treat ADHD. But, studies show it’s being abused more and more.

“In a way that athletes have used steroids and other medications in the past to enhance their athletic performance, Adderall is actually being used to kind of pseudo-enhance their academic performance,” states Heather Hayes, a licensed professional counselor.

One of the biggest problems with using the drug recreationally is that most teens are unaware of its dangers.

Twenty-year-old “Dave,” a college student, says, “I think it’s pretty safe unless you’re taking five at a time.”

But experts say even in small doses, the dangers of taking Adderall can range from headaches, increased heart rate and insomnia to things far worse.

“Any amphetamine has the potential to give someone an amphetamine psychosis,” warns Hayes. “So when you take a lot of amphetamines and you’re not sleeping, then you will literally hallucinate. … [You] will absolutely leave reality and become delusional and paranoid.”

Hayes says parents need to make the dangers of taking Adderall clear to teens. Otherwise, they may continue to believe it’s a cheap and easily available drug that helps them study. Marisa and Dave are examples of students with this belief.

“I get it for free, but I know people who will give … maybe two to five dollars [per pill],” says Marisa.

“Actually, I’m gonna go to my doctor and, uh, try to get a prescription next semester,” says Dave, “’cause I think it’s a really effective way to get good grades. I wouldn’t think it was that hard to, uh, fake having ADD.”

But others say Adderall fools you – that it only seems like it’s helping kids study. Amanda Mattison, 17, has seen first-hand what can happen.

“[Students taking Adderall] can focus when they’re taking it, and they study and they cram for five or six hours and they’re good-to-go for the exam,” she says, “but by the time the exam rolls around, they’re either too worn out or … it’s lost it’s effect.”

“Bottom line,” says Hayes, “Adderall is as dangerous of a drug when unsupervised as any other medication. It’s addictive and it is dangerous.”



Tips for Parents

Adderall, manufactured by Shire Pharmaceuticals Group of the United Kingdom, is a stimulant prescribed for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD. Shire states, “Adderall isn't intended to enhance test scores and should only be used under medical supervision.”

Adderall is a fast-acting mixture of amphetamines. Amphetamines act on the brain by mimicking the neurotransmitter dopamine, which increases alertness and concentration. Studies conducted by the National Institutes of Health in the late 1970s found that low-dose stimulants increase concentration and alertness in everyone, not just people with attention disorders. Here are some things to know about ADHD:

ADHD is a medical condition linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain. Doctors believe it stems from biological, not environmental, conditions.
Generally, people with ADHD have trouble focusing on tasks or subjects, and they may act impulsively and often get in trouble.
Approximately 3 to 7 percent of school-age children and 4 percent of adults suffer from ADHD.
Adderall is one of a handful of stimulants prescribed for ADHD.
Side effects of Adderall can include loss of appetite, insomnia and weight loss.
During late-night study marathons, students from grade school to med school have long relied on stimulants– which include everything from caffeine to cocaine. But with Adderall, and other similar prescription drugs, some high school and college students are hoping to improve scores on standardized (and even classroom) tests. Other students are turning to alternative medicine, such as hypnosis or herbal supplements, for an extra edge.

The concern with Adderall is not from a single use. One pill won’t kill you. But one pill is likely to lead to a second pill, then a third and a subsequent snowball effect where physical damage can occur. Also, Adderall is relatively easy to obtain. Overall, prescriptions for stimulants have risen from 1.6 million in 2000 to 2.6 million a month in 2004. Adderall XR, a once-a-day, extended-release form of the drug, is the leader in its class, capturing about a third of the market. Consider the following:

Prescription drug use was once rare, but it has now crossed into the mainstream.
Prescriptive amphetamines have figured prominently in calls to emergency departments and poison control centers.
Kids, and even their parents, are desperate for any available academic edge and willing to go to the extreme to obtain it.
Some students feel extra pressure because they feel they are not just failing themselves, but also failing their parents and other family members.
The College Board, the nonprofit administrator of the SAT, has no rules explicitly prohibiting drug use. Spokeswoman Chiara Coletti says, "We certainly do not recommend that students take any drugs or stimulants in hopes of affecting their scores."
Some kids taking Adderall have valid prescriptions, but not all. Under federal law, it's illegal to knowingly possess a "schedule II" drug (like Adderall) without a prescription. But prosecutions for possession are rare.
Many schools would suspend or expel a student caught using marijuana or other street drugs but might not punish students taking prescription drugs to help with test taking.

References
ADHD Support and Resources from Eli Lily
National Institutes of Health
Nature Magazine
Shire Pharmaceuticals Group
TeensHealth
The Wall Street Journal

Sue Scheff: Teen Courts

Source: Connect with Kids

“[I]t feels like at times you have more … power in the school system and more of a chance to make a decision for others and help make decisions.”

– Anthony Mayson, 14 years old

“Can you all please stand and raise your right hand,” the bailiff says as he administers the oath to the eight jurors about to hear a case.

Meanwhile, in another room, the “attorneys” prepare their cases for the prosecution and the defense while the judge prepares to enter the courtroom.

There’s only one unusual thing about everyone involved in this court proceeding: All of the participants are high school students. However, the cases they handle are real.

Eight years ago, about 80 youth court programs existed across the country. Today, that number has increased to more than a thousand.

Fourteen-year-old Anthony Mayson says participating in the teen court gives him – and the other students involved – a real feeling of empowerment.

“It feels good. And it feels like at times you have more … power in the school system and more of a chance to make a decision for others and help make decisions,” Anthony says. “[It gives you a chance to] not only be a younger person but be able to be at the same level as an adult.”

Most teen courts handle minor discipline problems ranging from insubordination to first-offense truancy. Teen courts do have power. The sentences are limited to written apologies or hours of community service, but the indictment, the defense, the prosecution and the verdict are handled entirely by the students.

John De Caro, a teen court coordinator, says the youth court helps demystify the legal process for teens and makes them feel like they’re part of the system.

“[It helps break] down the barrier between the “us” and “them” that usually exists,” De Caro says. “And this way, it’s sort of in their own hands and they feel as though they have an actual stake in the system.”

Experts say that parents should encourage their children to participate in a teen court in their community or in their school. If the community doesn’t have a youth court, families should help start one in order to provide their children with the opportunity to learn about responsibility and the consequences of risky behavior.

“It’s no longer something that they just view on television or hear about on the news; it’s actually [something] that they can get a feel for themselves,” says faculty adviser Charlotte Brown.

Tips for Parents
Teen courts are real elements of the judicial system that are run by and for young people. In a teen court, all or most of the major players in the courtroom are teens: the lawyers, bailiffs, defendants, jurors, prosecutor, defense attorney and even the judge. A teen court either sets the sentence for teens who have pleaded guilty or tries the case of teens who – with parental approval – have agreed to its jurisdiction.

How many teen courts are there in the United States? What began as just a handful of programs in the 1960s has risen to over 1,000 teen courts in operation, according to the U.S. Justice Department.

The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP) says that teen courts are generally used for younger juveniles (ages 10 to 15), those with no prior arrest records and those charged with less serious violations, including the following:

Shoplifting
Vandalism
Illegal alcohol possession
Criminal or malicious mischief
Disorderly conduct
Traffic violations
The OJJDP says that teen courts impose the following types of sentences:

Paying restitution (monetary or in kind)
Attending educational classes
Writing apology letters
Writing essays
Serving jury duty on subsequent cases

According to the National Crime Prevention Council (NCPC), while these courts may vary in composition, responsibilities and operation from town to town, their goal remains the same: to provide teens with an opportunity to take an active role in addressing the problem of juvenile crime within their communities.

Teen courts take advantage of two of the most powerful forces in the life of an adolescent – the desire for peer approval and the reaction to peer pressure. Teens sometimes respond better to their peers than to adult authority figures. Youth courts can be a potentially effective alternative to traditional juvenile courts staffed with paid professionals, such as lawyers, judges and probation officers.

The U.S. Justice Department says that teen courts offer at least four potential benefits:

Accountability: Teen courts may help to ensure that young offenders are held accountable for their illegal behavior, even when their offenses are relatively minor and would not likely result in sanctions from the traditional juvenile justice system.

Timeliness: An effective teen court can move young offenders from arrest to sanctions within a matter of days instead of months that may pass with traditional juvenile courts.

Cost savings: Teen courts usually depend heavily on youth and adult volunteers, with relatively little cost to the community. The average annual cost for operating a teen court is $32,822, according to the National Youth Court Center.

Community cohesion: A well-structured and expansive teen court program can affect the entire community by increasing public appreciation of the legal system, enhancing community-court relationships, encouraging greater respect for the law among teens and promoting volunteerism among both adults and teens.

References
National Crime Prevention Council
U.S. Department of Justice

Sue Scheff: Mistreated Depression

Source: Connect with Kids

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy. They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

– David Gore, Ph.D., clinical psychologist

Fifteen-year-old Sarah McMenamin suffers from depression. It started a year ago with the death of her father.

“I was just like, ‘I just want to die,’” she says, describing her feeling before seeing a therapist. “I would never kill myself, but I just wish I was dead, I just wish I was never going to wake up.”

For depressed teens, experts at the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry say what can help is medicine – combined with talk therapy.

“I think the therapist helped me,” explains Sarah, “’cause it was talking, you know, I got it out. I didn’t bottle everything up.”

“The advantage to getting some therapy along with medication is that you get to the root of the problem,” explains Dr. David Gore, clinical psychologist. “You get to see why you’re feeling that way. And if you start understanding why you’re feeling that way, chances are pretty good you’ll stop feeling that way.”

But according to a new study from Thomson-Reuters, more teens than ever are getting medication without psychotherapy. Why? Gore has an answer.

“Basically, psychiatrists are pretty busy,” Dr. Gore says. “They don’t want to spend a lot of time with people. They want to get people in and out, maybe two or three an hour. … It pays better to do that than spending an hour doing psychotherapy.”

Three months ago, Sarah started seeing a new doctor.

“Right away he put me on Zoloft,” she says. “He didn’t even know me for an hour and he put me on it.”

But psychologists say medicine alone just won’t work as well.

“You take your pill, you’ll get some immediate relief,” explains Dr. Gore, “but the problem’s going to crop up again in two months or four months or six months. You’ve got to get to the root of the problem.”

Sarah will resume talk therapy again in a few months. She says she is looking forward to it.

“You get it out on the table and you know your feelings’” she says, “and you go in thinking it’s one thing and you come out finding out it’s like 10 different things and you’re like, ‘Wow.’”

Tips for Parents

All teens experience ups and downs. Every day poses a new test of their emotional stability – fighting with a friend, feeling peer pressure to “fit in” with a particular crowd or experiencing anxiety over a failed quiz – all of which can lead to normal feelings of sadness or grief. These feelings are usually brief and subside with time, unlike depression, which is more than feeling blue, sad or down in the dumps once in a while.

According to the Nemours Foundation, depression is a strong mood involving sadness, discouragement, despair or hopelessness that lasts for weeks, months or even longer. It also interferes with a person’s ability to participate in normal activities. Often, depression in teens is overlooked because parents and teachers feel that unhappiness or “moodiness” is typical in young people. They blame hormones or other factors for teens’ feelings of sadness or grief, which leaves many teens undiagnosed and untreated for their illness.

The Mayo Clinic reports that sometimes a stressful life event triggers depression. Other times, it seems to occur spontaneously, with no identifiable specific cause. However, certain risk factors may be associated with developing the disorder. Johns Hopkins University cites the following risk factors for becoming depressed:

Children under stress who have experienced loss or who suffer attention, learning or conduct disorders are more susceptible to depression.

Girls are more likely than boys to develop depression.

Youth, particularly younger children, who develop depression are likely to have a family history of the disorder.

If you suspect that your teen is clinically depressed, it is important to evaluate his or her symptoms and signs as soon as possible. The National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association cites the following warning signs indicating that your teen may suffer from depression:

Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells
Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns
Irritability, anger, worry, agitation or anxiety
Pessimism or indifference
Loss of energy or persistent lethargy
Feelings of guilt and worthlessness
Inability to concentrate and indecisiveness
Inability to take pleasure in former interests or social withdrawal
Unexplained aches and pains
Recurring thoughts of death or suicide

It is important to acknowledge that teens may experiment with drugs or alcohol or become sexually promiscuous to avoid feelings of depression. According to the National Mental Health Association, teens may also express their depression through other hostile, aggressive, risk-taking behaviors. These behaviors will only lead to new problems, deeper levels of depression and destroyed relationships with friends and family, as well as difficulties with law enforcement or school officials.

The development of newer antidepressant medications and mood-stabilizing drugs in the last 20 years has revolutionized the treatment of depression. According to the Mayo Clinic, medication can relieve the symptoms of depression, and it has become the first line of treatment for most types of the disorder. Psychotherapy may also help teens cope with ongoing problems that trigger or contribute to their depression. A combination of medications and a brief course of psychotherapy are usually effective if a teen suffers from mild to moderate depression. For severely depressed teens, initial treatment usually includes medications. Once they improve, psychotherapy can be more effective.

Immediate treatment of your teen’s depression is crucial. Adolescents and children suffering from depression may turn to suicide if they do not receive proper treatment. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for Americans aged 10-24. The National Association of School Psychologists suggests looking for the following warning signs that may indicate your depressed teen if contemplating suicide:

Suicide notes: Notes or journal entries are a very real sign of danger and should be taken seriously.

Threats: Threats may be direct statements (“I want to die.” “I am going to kill myself”) or, unfortunately, indirect comments (“The world would be better without me.” “Nobody will miss me anyway”). Among teens, indirect clues could be offered through joking or through comments in school assignments, particularly creative writing or artwork.

Previous attempts: If your child or teen has attempted suicide in the past, a greater likelihood that he or she will try again exists. Be very observant of any friends who have tried suicide before.

Depression (helplessness/hopelessness): When symptoms of depression include strong thoughts of helplessness and hopelessness, your teen is possibly at greater risk for suicide. Watch out for behaviors or comments that indicate your teen is feeling overwhelmed by sadness or pessimistic views of his or her future.

“Masked” depression: Sometimes risk-taking behaviors can include acts of aggression, gunplay and alcohol or substance abuse. While your teen does not act “depressed,” his or her behavior suggests that he or she is not concerned about his or her own safety.

Final arrangements: This behavior may take many forms. In adolescents, it might be giving away prized possessions, such as jewelry, clothing, journals or pictures.

Efforts to hurt himself or herself: Self-injury behaviors are warning signs for young children as well as teens. Common self-destructive behaviors include running into traffic, jumping from heights and scratching, cutting or marking his or her body.

Changes in physical habits and appearance: Changes include inability to sleep or sleeping all the time, sudden weight gain or loss and disinterest in appearance or hygiene.

Sudden changes in personality, friends or behaviors: Changes can include withdrawing from friends and family, skipping school or classes, loss of involvement in activities that were once important and avoiding friends.

Plan/method/access: A suicidal child or adolescent may show an increased interest in guns and other weapons, may seem to have increased access to guns, pills, etc., and/or may talk about or hint at a suicide plan. The greater the planning, the greater the potential for suicide.

Death and suicidal themes: These themes might appear in classroom drawings, work samples, journals or homework.

If you suspect suicide, it is important to contact a medical professional immediately. A counselor or psychologist can also help offer additional support.

References
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
American Foundation for Suicidal Prevention
Johns Hopkins University
Mayo Clinic
National Association of School Psychologists
National Depressive and Manic-Depressive Association
National Institute of Mental Health
National Mental Health Association
Nemours Foundation
Thomson-Reuters

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Norms aren't Normal

By Connect with Kids

“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah … you’re gonna believe that.”

– Ryan Hentz, 18

What do teens think other teens are doing on a Friday night?

“If you want to be cool, you have to drink and go out … ,” says Leah Conover, 18.

“Partying, having sex … weed, smoking, stuff like that,” 17-year-old Latricia Smith adds.

Tad Kulanko, 18, agrees: “Drinking or all smoking pot; doing drugs all the time.”

Experts say that idea – that everyone is doing it – can be a powerful, self-fulfilling prophecy.

“Teenagers are often trying to find themselves. They want to fit in [and] they want to be part of the crowd,” says Dr. Sherry Blake, a psychologist.

“If you grow up listening to that stereotype, that you’re gonna grow up and do drugs, that you’re gonna grow up and have sex, then yeah, it’s gonna be implanted in your head and you’re gonna believe that,” says Ryan Hentz, 18.

But the stereotype is a myth, according to a movement called “social norming.” This movement’s message is that what’s “normal” for most teens isn’t getting drunk or high, having sex, getting pregnant or vandalizing property.

“The adolescent will realize that, ‘I have choices, and guess what, everybody is not doing this and I don’t have to be drunk or I don’t have to be high to be cool,’” Dr. Blake says.

“Social norming” has caught on at about 40 college campuses nationwide. But experts say parents can use the same concept with their own children well before college age.

Blake says to let them know that “there are a lot of teenagers doing positive things … the norm is not where we have to go out and party and drink.”

Tips for Parents

‘Social Norming’ Latest Trend to Curb Risk-taking

For years, study after study has focused on the number of teens who take negative health risks like smoking, drinking alcohol and abusing drugs. These widespread statistics lead the public to believe that bad behavior among today’s youth is at an all-time high, yet the opposite seems to be the case. Consider these statistics from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) 2005 Youth Risk Behavior Survey:

About 56.7% of high school students said they had not consumed an alcoholic beverage within the past 30 days.

An estimated 90.1% had not driven a car while under the influence of alcohol within the past 30 days.

Only 13.4% of students had smoked one cigarette a day for the last 30 days.

Nearly 61.6% have never tried marijuana.

About 87.6% have never sniffed glue, breathed the contents of aerosol spray cans or inhaled any paints to get high.

An estimated 96% have never taken steroids with or without a doctor’s prescription.

Several colleges are now finding that if the general impression is that most kids don’t drink alcohol, then those who do drink will drink less, and fewer will start drinking in the first place.

This philosophy to curb unhealthy habits, called “social norming,” is also catching on in high schools and middle schools across the country. Officials hope that as they promote the general good health of students, more parents and teens will recognize that taking less health risks is now the “norm.”

While you can’t protect your child or teen from taking a bad health risk, you can become a strong and positive influence in his or her life. The National PTA offers these tips for staying involved in your child’s life so that you can minimize the risks he or she takes:

Keep the lines of communication open. You need to have regular conversations with your teen and supply him or her with honest and accurate information on the many issues he or she faces. Start important discussions with your teen – about smoking, drugs, sex or drinking – even if the topics are difficult or embarrassing. Don’t wait for your teen to come to you.

Set fair and consistent rules. You need to set boundaries that help your teen learn that with his or her new independence comes responsibility. You and your child can work together to set appropriate limits. Be sure that your child understands the purpose behind the rules.

Support your child’s future. Even if you don’t feel you can help with homework, you need to demonstrate that education is important to you and your child’s future. It’s important to you’re your child’s teachers and to create a home environment that supports learning.

Be an example. You need to demonstrate appropriate behaviors. Show concern for and be involved in the community and at school. Maintain regularly scheduled family time to share mutual interests, such as attending movies, concerts, sporting events, plays or museum exhibits. Your teen will often “do as you do,” so don’t take negative health risks, such as drinking or smoking.

If your adolescent does cross the boundaries you have set in order to take a negative health risk, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry suggests you keep in mind the following points about discipline:

Trust your child to do the right thing within the limits of your child’s age and stage of development.

Make sure what you ask for is reasonable.

Speak to your child as you would want to be spoken to if someone were reprimanding you. Don’t resort to name-calling, yelling or disrespect.

Be clear about what you mean. Be firm and specific.

Model positive behavior. “Do as I say, not as I do” seldom works.

Whenever possible, consequences should be delivered immediately, should relate to the rule broken and be short enough in duration that you can move on again to emphasize the positives.
Consequences should be fair and appropriate to the situation and the child’s age.

References

American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
National PTA

Sue Scheff: Parenting Kids Today is Challenging

Connect with Kids is a comprehensive website that offers parenting articles, helpful tips for parents, parent forums and more. They also offer Parenting DVD's on a variety of subjects that affect our kids today. Whether it is Troubled Teens or how to raise successful kids - there is probably a DVD that can help you better understand the issues surrounding our kids today.
Click here for more information and a variety of Parenting DVD's.

Sue Scheff: Helping Teens Avoid Bad Decisions – and Risky Situations

Good Kids, Bad Choices by Connect with Kids

All kids make mistakes … but some bad choices can lead to terrible outcomes. As parents, we need to do everything in our power to help our children learn to make smart decisions. How do you help your kids learn about the consequences of a split-second decision? How do you help them avoid dangerous and risky situations?

Learn what leads kids to make bad decisions… and how parents can help with Good Kids, Bad Choices.

What is your greatest fear for your child? Car accident? Drug or alcohol addiction? Sexually transmitted disease? Unplanned pregnancy? Physical disability? Death? When it comes to learning how to avoid bad decisions, children need the guidance and insights that only parents can provide.

So how do parents learn what situations kids get themselves into? Why they make bad choices?

Order Good Kids, Bad Choices and find out.

You’ll see real teenagers talk about the split-second decisions they made … the terrible outcomes … and what they wish they had done instead. You’ll learn tips from experts and parenting advice about the steps you can take to help your child learn to make better decisions. And you’ll hear the inspiration from families who can help your family – before it’s too late.

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) What your children are doing shouldn't be a mystery

Who’s pressuring your kids? Who’s offering them alcohol or drugs? Who’s talking to them on the Internet?

Whether we’re teachers, parents, counselors…sometimes we just don’t know what’s really going on in a child’s life. If you want to talk to your kids about the challenges they face, but aren’t sure what to say, our programs will help…with real kids sharing their true stories, and advice from experts, educators and parents who have “been there.”

Click here for a fantastic educational resource to help you help your kids!

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: Teaching Empathy in Schools by Connect with Kids

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens.”

– Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership

The No Child Left Behind federal act has many students spending the majority of their day reading, writing and practicing math. However, a new study finds that character education, anti-bullying efforts and lessons in respecting and empathizing with others can actually raise children’s test scores.

“Most of my lessons of character and respect … I learned at home from my mom and my dad,” says Maceo, 13.

But now some schools are teaching lessons about empathy, cooperation and caring about others.

“Okay, what is kindness?” asks a teacher to her student.

Researchers at the University of Illinois analyzed the findings of more than 200 studies. They found that when schools help kids learn to manage their emotions and practice empathy and caring, both their behavior and their grades improve.

“Students come out the other side not only with a better education in the subject areas, but they are better citizens,” says Paul Weimer, director, Character Education Partnership.

But some students say you don’t learn emotional skills with a lecture.

“If they just force us to sit here and understand, it’s going to be sort of hard,” says Susan, 13.

Instead, experts say character skills and emotional growth come with practice.

In one outreach program, high school students spend time with younger kids who need a little help.

“It’s a chance for kids to show that there is character there, ” says Mik, 17.

“What we’re hoping is by making this prevalent in our curriculum, by infusing it into the curriculum and mentioning these words again and again, that our students will hear this, internalize it and they will in turn do these things automatically,” says Nancy Zarovsky, teacher.

Experts say that while character education at school is always helpful, it is considerably less effective if the child’s family and community don’t teach or support those same values.

Tips for Parents

To teach these lessons, we must make the issues of care, connection and civic action part of the core curriculum and school culture. We must look thoughtfully at the ways young people see society operating and help them develop a larger sense of meaning for their lives. (AASA)

Whether we’re feeling empathy when a loved one endures pain, or feeling relief from pain due to a placebo, pain-sensitive regions of our brains are at work — either creating or diminishing the experience of human pain. (MSNBC)

“The ability to “tune in” and empathize with others is a prerequisite for understanding, attachment, bonding and love — all of which are important for our survival,” says Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London.

Social understanding and social responsibility build on children's desire to understand and feel effective in the social world, to maintain connection with others and to reach out to those in distress. (American Association of School Administrators, AASA)

References

MSNBC
Tania Singer, Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College, London
American Association of School Administrators (AASA)

Sue Scheff: Teen Gangs - Kids in Groups Take on More Risks by Connect with Kids

“They do have the cognitive functions that allow them to control their emotions and organize. They’re just not as good at it, during the adolescent years, as they will be during adulthood.”

– Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., neuroscientist, UCLA Department of Neurology

With advanced brain-imaging technology, researchers have been learning more about how the human brain develops. One mystery experts have explored is why teenagers act the way they do: rebellious, impulsive and too willing to take risks. Now we may have an answer: one part of the adolescent brain is growing too fast, while another is growing too slowly.

Teenagers experiment with drugs. Drive too fast. Get angry and don’t know why.

“Pretty much the rebellion stage started kicking in right about age 12,” recalls Kim, currently 15.

What happens at age 12? According to new research from Temple University, teenagers feel emotions intensely, and care about how other kids feel about them. All that emotion resides in a part of the brain that grows quickly during adolescence. Meanwhile, the rational, careful, thoughtful part of the brain develops more slowly. That imbalance can cause kids to take risks.

“The parts of the brain that continue to develop during adolescence are the parts of the brain that we might expect when we think about typical, negative adolescent behaviors,” says Elizabeth Sowell, Ph.D., neuroscientist, UCLA Dept. of Neurology.

In fact, the study found that when kids were surrounded by other kids while participating in a simulated driving game, they were twice as likely to take risks.

“We know that adolescents are bigger risk takers, we don’t need the brain to tell us that. We know that they get in more car accidents than adults do,” says Sowell.

Experts say the good news is that while it may not be easy to teach teens to avoid risks, it’s not impossible, either.

“They do have the cognitive functions that allow them to control their emotions and organize. They’re just not as good at it, during the adolescent years, as they will be during adulthood,” says Sowell.

Experts say it helps to teach kids to ask themselves a question: ‘if you do this, what are the possible consequences?’ And don’t answer for them.

“Also, it’s much more rewarding for them if they come to the conclusion. Because it’s really coming from their heart and they know that whatever happens, they did the right thing for themselves,” says Diana, 15.

Tips for Parents

Sometimes, stresses in your life can actually come from your friends or peers. They may pressure you into doing something you're uncomfortable with, such as cheating, shoplifting, doing drugs or drinking, taking dangerous risks when driving a car, or having sex before you feel ready. (Nemours Foundation)

Listen to your gut. If you feel uncomfortable, even if your friends seem to be okay with what's going on, it means that something about the situation is wrong for you. This kind of decision-making is part of becoming self-reliant and learning more about who you are. (Nemours Foundation)

Plan for possible pressure situations. If you'd like to go to a party but you believe you may be offered alcohol or drugs there, think ahead about how you'll handle this challenge. Decide ahead of time — and even rehearse — what you'll say and do. Learn a few tricks. If you're holding a bottle of water or a can of soda, for instance, you're less likely to be offered a drink you don't want. (Nemours Foundation)

Arrange a "bail-out" code phrase you can use with your parents without losing face with your friends. For instance, you might call home from a party where you're feeling pressure to drink alcohol and say, "Can you come drive me home? I have a terrible earache." (Nemours Foundation)

Learn to feel comfortable saying "no." With good friends you should never have to offer an explanation or apology. But if you feel you need an excuse for, say, turning down a drink or smoke, think up a few lines you can use casually. (Nemours Foundation)

Hang with people who feel the same way you do. Choose friends who will speak up with you when you're in need of moral support, and be quick to speak up for a friend in the same way. If you're hearing that little voice telling you a situation's not right, chances are others hear it, too. Just having one other person stand with you against peer pressure makes it much easier for both people to resist. (Nemours Foundation)

References

Nemours Foundation
UCLA Department of Neurology